Okay if I could just take time to share a few words of sarcasm with whoever it is who took this pen?
I want to say thank you for doing this to me.
For a while I thought I’d have to suffer through a puppy parade, but I much prefer being entombed in a mausoleum of feelings I can neither understand nor reciprocate.
So whoever you are, can I get you anything?
Ice cream, best friend medal? Anything?
Mhm.
Okay.
Sarcasm over.
Shirley, dump your comedically huge bag and end this.
Life’s so much easier when you just come to terms with this.



