Inside the Mind of Tenley Nadine

Okay if I could just take time to share a few words of sarcasm with whoever it is who took this pen?
I want to say thank you for doing this to me.
For a while I thought I’d have to suffer through a puppy parade, but I much prefer being entombed in a mausoleum of feelings I can neither understand nor reciprocate.
So whoever you are, can I get you anything?
Ice cream, best friend medal? Anything?
Mhm.
Okay.
Sarcasm over.
Shirley, dump your comedically huge bag and end this.